THE NEED FOR PLASTIC SURGERY

First an apology to Greta Thunberg. I once said she’s rather annoying. I should be less impulsive. I’ve listened to her a few times on the radio recently and recognise she’s calm and sensible. She’s determined, even implacable, and the way she conducts herself is admirable, not annoying. Sorry Greta.

She and others are right in saying ignoring an existential crisis because (as Al Gore, described it in 2006) it’s an “inconvenient truth”,  is just madness. Imagine hearing this on a plane:
“This is your captain here . The engineers say this plane in unsafe to fly. I say that your convenience comes first. We’re ready for take- off.”

As we watch the news – a plague of locusts in Africa, a dust storm the size of Britain in Australia following those catastrophic fires, a huge Turkish earthquake, an epidemic (rapidly becoming a pandemic) in China and spreading globally – it’s all  beginning to feel apocalyptic.

Whilst I don’t buy the view that we are all doomed – not yet at any rate – inventions that have brought us a greater comfort bring their own dangers. We are in charge (just) and we can influence the future.
Take the wonder of plastic. Imagine the world of medicine without it. Imagine a world without toys. Imagine a world without mobile phones (wouldn’t that be interesting by the way?) We invented plastic in 1907 and now it’s strangling us.

In the 1967 film ‘The Graduate’ Benjamin Braddock (Dustin Hoffman) is advised to secure a career in plastics following his graduation. Not any more I think.

So it was with interest I read the Coca-Cola story this week. They have decided not to abandon single-use plastic bottles… because? Because people still want them because they are light and resealable. The company makes 200,000 bottles a minute – that’s 3,000,000 tonnes a year. Ms Perez was talking on that subject at Davos. The Mail Online describes her as follows:

“Ms Perez is apparently the Coca-Cola corporation's 'Head of Sustainability'. Can there be a more comical job description? What's next? Hannibal Lecter as the face of Veganuary?”

Here’s what Ms Perez says. “Business won’t be in business if we don’t accommodate consumers.”
Or Beatrice – that’s her name – humanity will cease to exist unless we take this plastics issue more seriously than you are.

Apparently the weight of plastics in our oceans will weigh more than the fish by 2050 if we carry on like this. But so long as Coke’s customers buy plastic they’ll just carry on providing it willy-nilly. Unlike Tesco. Dave Lewis, its CEO, is taking a lead The banning the use of plastic for multibuys (regardless that customers find them convenient) and has declared war on plastic in their own label products. He reckons to remove 1 billion pieces of single-use plastics by the end of the year. Tesco seems to have a more enlightened view of what good business is than Coca-Cola does.

The operating theatre is open; plastic surgery has begun. And about time.

THE FUTURE'S BRILLIANT

When I say that we’ve never lived in such glorious and exciting times some of you will think I’ve taken leave of whatever senses I have left. The history of mankind is pretty short in the scheme of things. If our planet had existed for just a year then Homo Sapiens would have been around for less than 10 minutes. More importantly the real, real digital action has been taking place in the past fraction of a second.

The internet and digitisation are transforming our lives. Like many I too am a sceptic when it comes to suggesting that Amazon’s warehouse in the sky 45,000 feet up dropping drones to earth to fulfil our orders in hours or minutes of our placing them is likely to be anything other than a nice bit of PR. But when I read about a company called “Zipline” which uses drone-type small planes to deliver healthcare products to the 2 billion of the world who would otherwise be denied access to them due to challenging terrain and gaps in infrastructure, I’m on my feet and applauding as potentially 3 million lives a year could be saved by this.

Two decades ago Jean-Marie Dru, worldwide Chairman of TBWA, was the proclaimed the originator of the word “disruption®“as a creative tool. Like all trendy concepts it lay quietly in the agency world for a while but has now accelerated to the point at which all business life is being disrupted, old business models are being demolished and it’s normal.

Dru says rightly that:
“Digital is forcing every single business leader in the world to rethink, sometimes to revolutionise, his or her company.”

Companies like Coca-Cola that have for over a century been a bellwether for the global economy are now wounded because they’re selling something that’s become increasingly unfashionable - sweet, sugary fizzy drinks. At a recent Marketing Week conference a delegate shocked the audience and speaker Professor Mark Ritson by asking the breathtaking question;-

“Is Coca-Cola entering its Nokia phase?”

The clock cannot be turned back despite the wishes of a large number of British Conservatives and Brexit supporters and people throughout the world especially in the American rustbelt. Globalisation is here to stay, digital is here to stay and change everything. Not least it’s likely to lead to increased unemployment as the robots get to work. It’s taken advanced societies like Finland to counter the threat of this by producing plans to introduce a living wage for everyone, whether at work or not.

With this front cover Time magazine were not being satirical. The future is nearer than any of us think. Artificial Intelligence, Virtual Reality, Total Connectivity and Limitless Creativity are here and changing our lives. Remember GE, that great manufacturing company? Well it’s now the largest software company in the world totally reinventing itself.

I’ll repeat - we have never lived in such exciting times and I am thrilled by what I see. The world really is getting better.

WHAT A FUNNY OLD WORLD THIS IS

There’s been some journalistic outrage about management jargon recently. They seem to take particular affront about expressions like “going forward” and “thinking out of the box” which have been around for some time. More recent efforts like “Don’t try to boil the Ocean” = don’t take on an impossible task or “Punching the Puppy” = taking an unpopular decision, seem to evoke greater wrath.

I think it’s time for a really red-in-the-face row about this and to aid this particular mission we need to create a few new ones that are especially horrid.

Here are some from me (I’m sure you can do better which is what I really want from you):

Time to kick the kitten - the moment to do some really mean things 'pour encourager les autres' - like firing the nicest people - or just being foul for the fun of it.

Going PHD - trying to make a simple action just too clever-clogs-complex.

Visiting the graveyard - nostalgically reviewing the good old days and how wonderful it once was or alternatively referring back to an invention, insight or opinion of someone no longer working with you.

Nosing the jockstrap - reviewing how a particularly exhausting project has actually gone. An alternative version is behaving sycophantically to a superior who’s just won promotion.

Pissing in the Petrus - ruining a really good idea with terrible and thoughtless execution.

Trying to water the Sahara - as “boil the Ocean” but different insofar as watering the Sahara is actually a great idea - in theory.

Sliding in on the razor wire - doing something really foolhardy when your gut tells you “don’t! Don’t even think about it.”

Putting on new socks - a change-programme which achieves little and is unnoticeable.

Contradicting the Pope - questioning a strategic decision already agreed by the Board.

Scratching off the scab - doing a deep dive investigation as to what went wrong after a cock-up and stopping at nothing to create the appearance of ruthless thoroughness.

A fart of Dasani - something which has the repugnant whiff of impending disaster (Dasani in case you’re struggling to remember was the Coca-Cola water that bombed.)

Funny this world may be but it’s good to see at last just how diverse it’s becoming.

The Harvard Business Review nominated their 25 Best Performing Global CEOS in October 2015.
Their nationalities were diverse and came from 12 different countries:

USA	8
Germany	3
Brazil, France, Spain and Gt Britain	2 each
Sweden, Noway, Denmark, Japan, Belgium and Greece	1 each

I find this data perfectly describes the world that I recognise and live in, where the role of Europe is central to the future of the planet.

And isn’t it great that 64% of these top CEOs come from the EU which represents only 10% of the world’s population.

And particular congratulations to the Danish, Lars Rebien Sørensen, CEO of Novo Nordisk, who came 1st.

A very happy and successful New Year to you all.
Richard Hall

http://marketing-creativity-leadership.blogspot.co.uk/

WHY GREAT BRANDS SURVIVE

In a week where the poor self-righteous Co-op has wobbled in woe as allegations and revelations have poured out I was thinking about brands like theirs.

Everything and everyone tried to become a quasi-brand a while back. “Brand-me” was being promoted by recruitment agencies. Politicians and political parties used brand consultants. Countries were called brands. Yet it all smelt a bit phoney. Most of these entities had profile (or not), reputation (or not) and advertising or some sort of marketing positioning – key word that - “positioning”.

But the acid test of what happens to a product or service is when it hits the rocks does it sink like a stone or does it somehow scramble to safety, battered, wet and still functioning? If it’s the latter then it’s a real and worthwhile brand.

Do you remember John West’s horrors? Well it survived those and thrives today.

Mercedes triumphantly weathered their new A4 dramatically failing the Moose Test and turning over.
And Nestlé, after some scares on infant healthcare, has probably the most assiduously prepared baby food brand in world now.

Brands like Coke are primarily valued for their relationship with their customers. Their value is in brand assets not in in tangible assets like factories.

In crisis – the launch of New Coke in 1985 when the consumers rebelled against this innovation - Coca-Cola responded by listening to their consumer again and changing back to Classic Coke.
Their brand has thrived but others suffer as their owners dither and try to control the uncontrollable flow of news.
BP received astoundingly poor advice in its media handling of the Deep Water Horizon oil spill and is lastingly damaged.
Whilst Carnival’s Costa cruise ships seem to have survived the Costa Concordia debacle the hole below their reputational waterline will probably do for them.

But back to the poor, legs-crossed-in-embarrassment Co-op. A bankrupt bank, a laughing- stock company and in denial too as, they try to manage the news. Staff, I believe, have been advised to turn round newspapers they sell which have nasty headlines. Its very worthiness as a brand and its ethical stance exposes a vast weakness – the brand has had little humility and no sense of humour. I doubt if they’d have found Peter Brookes’ cartoon of a Co-op Funeral Parlour with a notice in the window “No Flowers” in the slightest funny. Nor would the other good line about “Chrystal Methodism” have raised a smile.

How brands behave in a crisis defines them. Because the real truth is that memories out there are short. Recall of Flowers will have withered soon enough but what will remain is an overall impression of the Co-op brand.

It’s a fabulous opportunity for them to say sorry and whilst everyone’s focused on them say what they stand for.

The alternative to being up front and cheerful is oblivion.  

LET THE SUNSHINE IN

Odd how a bit of sunshine completely changes the way you feel or think. Or in my case not think. My brain has gone into “idle” ever since a fortnight in sunny Venice and a return to, heaven be praised, sunny  Brighton. (Now I understand the problem in Greece, Italy and Spain – too much sun). Now I’m in a kind of “what’s it all about Alfie?” frame of mind. Given the state of the world today,  Alfie rather than the IMF or the rest of that wretched Troika might have a more useful viewpoint.

So Alfie what do you think?

“Well the Olympics are great. Have you noticed how much nicer people are being at stations and throughout London – smiling and being helpful? I guess we might be learning to lift our standards of customer service…and be like they are in New York. And yes the sunshine helps. And there’s something odd in the press: a series of views that the bad news about recession may have been too gloomy and possibly wrong. Even James Naughtie was cheery on the Today programme. Post Leveson could we have a good-news media? Are we being infected by what Boris called a “benign virus”? What else do I really think? Economics is boring and always wrong - always. Bankers are barmy. The uber-rich are wretched and doomed. People at the top of companies are all “out of touch”. Oh yes one other thing.  The Olympics is wonderful because it’ll be about everyone trying their best but I don’t much like McDonalds, Coca-Cola or Visa. Oops – shouldn’t have said that…. What else do you want to know?”
Just your address Alfie, so the Brand Police can come and arrest you for “reputation-terrorist-attacks” on those great brands.

How do we recreate that sunshine we’ve missed for so long? Speeches don’t do it. Images can start to. Music helps. But it’s an event that does it. We need an anniversary, a national party, a big unifying event to make everyone grin.

The lesson of the Olympics is a lesson in the power of “Event Marketing”.

And Alfie is right.
I was in London today, the Olympic spirit is wonderful and London buzzed.
We are so lucky because I suddenly realised how great London is – here’s how Nancy Durrant of the Times described it - “a heaving, breathing, shifting beast with a mind of its own.”
And that’s just Boris Johnson.

Boris – a mind of his own - sunshine or shower?