WHAT A FUNNY OLD WORLD THIS IS

There’s been some journalistic outrage about management jargon recently. They seem to take particular affront about expressions like “going forward” and “thinking out of the box” which have been around for some time. More recent efforts like “Don’t try to boil the Ocean” = don’t take on an impossible task or “Punching the Puppy” = taking an unpopular decision, seem to evoke greater wrath.

I think it’s time for a really red-in-the-face row about this and to aid this particular mission we need to create a few new ones that are especially horrid.

Here are some from me (I’m sure you can do better which is what I really want from you):

Time to kick the kitten - the moment to do some really mean things 'pour encourager les autres' - like firing the nicest people - or just being foul for the fun of it.

Going PHD - trying to make a simple action just too clever-clogs-complex.

Visiting the graveyard - nostalgically reviewing the good old days and how wonderful it once was or alternatively referring back to an invention, insight or opinion of someone no longer working with you.

Nosing the jockstrap - reviewing how a particularly exhausting project has actually gone. An alternative version is behaving sycophantically to a superior who’s just won promotion.

Pissing in the Petrus - ruining a really good idea with terrible and thoughtless execution.

Trying to water the Sahara - as “boil the Ocean” but different insofar as watering the Sahara is actually a great idea - in theory.

Sliding in on the razor wire - doing something really foolhardy when your gut tells you “don’t! Don’t even think about it.”

Putting on new socks - a change-programme which achieves little and is unnoticeable.

Contradicting the Pope - questioning a strategic decision already agreed by the Board.

Scratching off the scab - doing a deep dive investigation as to what went wrong after a cock-up and stopping at nothing to create the appearance of ruthless thoroughness.

A fart of Dasani - something which has the repugnant whiff of impending disaster (Dasani in case you’re struggling to remember was the Coca-Cola water that bombed.)

Funny this world may be but it’s good to see at last just how diverse it’s becoming.

The Harvard Business Review nominated their 25 Best Performing Global CEOS in October 2015.
Their nationalities were diverse and came from 12 different countries:

USA	8
Germany	3
Brazil, France, Spain and Gt Britain	2 each
Sweden, Noway, Denmark, Japan, Belgium and Greece	1 each

I find this data perfectly describes the world that I recognise and live in, where the role of Europe is central to the future of the planet.

And isn’t it great that 64% of these top CEOs come from the EU which represents only 10% of the world’s population.

And particular congratulations to the Danish, Lars Rebien Sørensen, CEO of Novo Nordisk, who came 1st.

A very happy and successful New Year to you all.
Richard Hall

http://marketing-creativity-leadership.blogspot.co.uk/