WHAT A FUNNY OLD WORLD THIS IS

There’s been some journalistic outrage about management jargon recently. They seem to take particular affront about expressions like “going forward” and “thinking out of the box” which have been around for some time. More recent efforts like “Don’t try to boil the Ocean” = don’t take on an impossible task or “Punching the Puppy” = taking an unpopular decision, seem to evoke greater wrath.

I think it’s time for a really red-in-the-face row about this and to aid this particular mission we need to create a few new ones that are especially horrid.

Here are some from me (I’m sure you can do better which is what I really want from you):

Time to kick the kitten - the moment to do some really mean things 'pour encourager les autres' - like firing the nicest people - or just being foul for the fun of it.

Going PHD - trying to make a simple action just too clever-clogs-complex.

Visiting the graveyard - nostalgically reviewing the good old days and how wonderful it once was or alternatively referring back to an invention, insight or opinion of someone no longer working with you.

Nosing the jockstrap - reviewing how a particularly exhausting project has actually gone. An alternative version is behaving sycophantically to a superior who’s just won promotion.

Pissing in the Petrus - ruining a really good idea with terrible and thoughtless execution.

Trying to water the Sahara - as “boil the Ocean” but different insofar as watering the Sahara is actually a great idea - in theory.

Sliding in on the razor wire - doing something really foolhardy when your gut tells you “don’t! Don’t even think about it.”

Putting on new socks - a change-programme which achieves little and is unnoticeable.

Contradicting the Pope - questioning a strategic decision already agreed by the Board.

Scratching off the scab - doing a deep dive investigation as to what went wrong after a cock-up and stopping at nothing to create the appearance of ruthless thoroughness.

A fart of Dasani - something which has the repugnant whiff of impending disaster (Dasani in case you’re struggling to remember was the Coca-Cola water that bombed.)

Funny this world may be but it’s good to see at last just how diverse it’s becoming.

The Harvard Business Review nominated their 25 Best Performing Global CEOS in October 2015.
Their nationalities were diverse and came from 12 different countries:

USA	8
Germany	3
Brazil, France, Spain and Gt Britain	2 each
Sweden, Noway, Denmark, Japan, Belgium and Greece	1 each

I find this data perfectly describes the world that I recognise and live in, where the role of Europe is central to the future of the planet.

And isn’t it great that 64% of these top CEOs come from the EU which represents only 10% of the world’s population.

And particular congratulations to the Danish, Lars Rebien Sørensen, CEO of Novo Nordisk, who came 1st.

A very happy and successful New Year to you all.
Richard Hall

http://marketing-creativity-leadership.blogspot.co.uk/

WHO'S IN CHARGE?

“For the first time the consumer is boss, which is fascinatingly, frightening, scary and terrifying because everything we used to do, everything we used to know, will no longer work.”That was what Kevin Roberts of Saatchi said.

And then there’s the story of investors in the early days of the web demanding to be told who the CEO of the internet was – “there must be a CEO. Who is it? Why’s he hiding?”

If someone isn’t in charge we get worried.

As children it’s our parents and our teachers who are in charge and those incorruptible authorities…”I’ll call the police and they’ll take you away.” My grandsons think the police are quite wonderful…they’ll learn.
Journalists used to call the Prime Minister “Sir” – he was seen to be in charge. And he wouldn’t have dreamed of going to Tuscany for a holiday – why do they do that?

And now?

This dilemma certainly distressed pundits on the Today Programme recently as they demanded to know who was in charge of the EU.

The answer is everyone and no one.

The accepted wisdom is “let the markets decide.”

And yet we know a thought becomes a  rumour becomes gossip becomes an urban myth becomes fact now in a blink. The marketplace rather than the market decides sitting round the metaphorical well in the town square on the web.

No amount of leadership beats that crowd.

We live today in a state of perpetual intellectual riot.

Decisions are made by focus groups “they don’t like your voice Ed…fix it”; “they don’t like immigrants Dave get them outta here” or they aren’t made at all until enough money, opinion or noise makes something happen because…”the public is expressing outrage.”

Liberal democracy is a wonderful thing but it has a downside. Loonies like the Tea Party and the Norwegian Breivik get to express themselves and begin to think they can actually be in charge.

The world it seems is managed by market-confidence yet politicians would clearly not even pass GCSE in psychology (were it an optional subject) if they believe you can preach “austerity” and expect your voters to rush out shopping, simultaneously.

In the end Kevin Roberts is right but as we know in marketing, consumers don’t really know what they want until they get it.

Everyone’s waiting for someone else to make a move.

Anyone who’d like to be in charge this week, just call.  Otherwise leave it the experts (again).

JUST DO IT

My favourite recent story was from Nigeria. The economy there is in a mess with frequent breakdowns in electricity. This means factories have to rely on expensive generators and this makes life hard.

The scene is a Lagos Stock Cube Factory in Lagos as electricity fails again.
BBC Interviewer: “How do you cope with this? It must make you very uncompetitive in cost terms.”
Stock Cube Company MD; “We just make as much as we can and hope for the best.”

The day a sophisticated CEO in the western world says “we hope for the best” which in a completely erratic world where you can’t control events is the right thing to think and do, is the day I’ll break into applause.

Herb Kelleher who used to be Chairman and CEO of Southwest Airlines in America, one of America’s most admired and successful companies, said once when asked about strategy at his airline: “We have a strategy here. We call it doing things.”

It’s that same action-packed attitude to life. Hurray for people who park their sceptical brains and get their hands dirty.

We are now off to Venice to what Mike Geoghegan ex CEO of HSBC described in a soulless way as
“Once the greatest financial powerhouse in the world and now a mere water attraction”

In that sentence we get to see what’s wrong with bankers.

As regards the weather, food, and aching feet we are going to follow our Nigerian’s advice and hope for the
best.

UNLEASHING FEMININE POTENTIAL AND EMBRACING DIVERSITY

It’s been a week of two halves.

 

The first about “not getting it” – me, my e-mails as Orange, my provider, collapsed; Orange – not getting the restrained fury their laconic call centre is creating.

 

The second about being cheered up by a presentation from Kirstin Furber HR Director of BBC Worldwide on the power of women. On the basis of what she said the future will be better (and better looking than the past.)

 

USA data shows women have recently built twice as many companies as men;
whilst they find it much harder to get funded than men, that doesn’t stop them succeeding.

They succeed because:

 

1. Their motivations are huge…”I wanted to do something for me…but I realised it was also for the people who worked for me – which was better.”
2. They want to create a good, sustainable business not just get rich.
3. They tend to be kinder than men, looking to create a business that outlasts them.
4. Their sense of the zeitgeist is profound noticing gaps in markets
5. They are good at “pattern recognition”- a key barometer of success in business
6. When a female CEO is interviewed she’ll tend to have her top team there with her, in support and answering their special interest questions. (Male CEO’s tend to be seen alone – as the leader.) Women see themselves as conductors of an orchestra – they don’t make the noise.
7. Women in general want their company to be smarter than they are.
8. Women tend to be more right brain users but they really work at and try being good at left brain too – their male counterparts tend not to work much at their right brain.
9. Women have an “irrational love” of their customers whom they regard as part of their family.
10. Men are measurement obsessed and love doing plans and revising them interminably. Women are looser about possible outcomes saying: “No one expects things to turn out quite the way we predicted.”

 

The future’s bright if our managements and leaders – female and male - follow the “ten commandments” above but the future certainly isn’t Orange unless they start to have a more irrational love of their customers than they showed this week.