WHAT A WASTE OF TIME

Strange isn’t it that two of the biggest and most self-regarding corporations in the world are “Mc” named. McDonalds of Olympic shame and McKinsey the people who according to Malcolm Gladwell helped build Enron, creators of the big whopper – or was it the other way round. Whatever….

Allister Heath, from the paper City AM, reveals  Mckinsey’s study which tells us something we know but we’ve doing nothing about. It shows that  61% of average office workers time’s spent as follows:-
28% staring at their computer screen at e-mails and stuff
19% gathering information
14% collaborating and communicating internally
Then there’s Twitter, Facebook, GooglePlus, Linkedin and other sites.

We have gone insane with paying attention to opinion and giving our opinions to a vast  chortling audience.

“Isn’t Jess Ennis great”. Yes. We know. Why share it?

Allister says:
“Anyone who’s able to tackle the mad communication overload will be on to a winner”.

It isn’t that hard Allister. It just involves facing up to the truth.

Most of digital is bunk.

And I’m making a pledge.
Today.  Right here.  Right now.

I’m reducing my e-mail traffic to 12% of my working time. I’m ceasing activity on all my Linkedin Groups, stopping Facebook and stopping Twitter. I’m even wondering if this should be my last blog.
I’m changing my office layout, relegating my PC to a corner and going back to thinking on paper on a big lots-of-room-to-work table.

The key word is “thinking”.

I’m going to start trying to do that properly.

And I’m going to walk more, talk more, listen more, read more, look at the world more.
I’m going to work less hard and work much better.
I’m going to value people’s voices and faces much more and spend less time crafting e-mails.

Mostly I’m going to spend less time on networking (or as I call it not-working) because the world is full of people meeting who can do nothing to help each other

I’m tired of hearing how critical IT is. In my recent experience it’s a time waster and something we use to do stuff we could often do quicker and cheaper more simply manually.

Most of all I’m going to simplify. Clear out stuff. Stop wasting time on the internet.
And start using my creativity and my common sense.

Being me. Not a robot.

LET THE SUNSHINE IN

Odd how a bit of sunshine completely changes the way you feel or think. Or in my case not think. My brain has gone into “idle” ever since a fortnight in sunny Venice and a return to, heaven be praised, sunny  Brighton. (Now I understand the problem in Greece, Italy and Spain – too much sun). Now I’m in a kind of “what’s it all about Alfie?” frame of mind. Given the state of the world today,  Alfie rather than the IMF or the rest of that wretched Troika might have a more useful viewpoint.

So Alfie what do you think?

“Well the Olympics are great. Have you noticed how much nicer people are being at stations and throughout London – smiling and being helpful? I guess we might be learning to lift our standards of customer service…and be like they are in New York. And yes the sunshine helps. And there’s something odd in the press: a series of views that the bad news about recession may have been too gloomy and possibly wrong. Even James Naughtie was cheery on the Today programme. Post Leveson could we have a good-news media? Are we being infected by what Boris called a “benign virus”? What else do I really think? Economics is boring and always wrong - always. Bankers are barmy. The uber-rich are wretched and doomed. People at the top of companies are all “out of touch”. Oh yes one other thing.  The Olympics is wonderful because it’ll be about everyone trying their best but I don’t much like McDonalds, Coca-Cola or Visa. Oops – shouldn’t have said that…. What else do you want to know?”
Just your address Alfie, so the Brand Police can come and arrest you for “reputation-terrorist-attacks” on those great brands.

How do we recreate that sunshine we’ve missed for so long? Speeches don’t do it. Images can start to. Music helps. But it’s an event that does it. We need an anniversary, a national party, a big unifying event to make everyone grin.

The lesson of the Olympics is a lesson in the power of “Event Marketing”.

And Alfie is right.
I was in London today, the Olympic spirit is wonderful and London buzzed.
We are so lucky because I suddenly realised how great London is – here’s how Nancy Durrant of the Times described it - “a heaving, breathing, shifting beast with a mind of its own.”
And that’s just Boris Johnson.

Boris – a mind of his own - sunshine or shower?

WHAT A YEAR TO THROW A PARTY

Imagine you’d won the local house of the year award, imagine that you’re planning a celebratory event for your best friends (and even some people you don’t even like but want to impress.) You’ve had the gardeners in to redesign the garden, tart up the house, repaint the front (the door a matt Farrow and Ball “Shocked Grey Face”), turned the garden room into a cinema room which at £10k including the 60 inch Sony screen and their sound system is a steal and that rose garden in blush pink is a wow. To round things off there’s a Boxster for you and Smart Car for her – “what do mean 'her'?” (sorry darling) - in the drive.

Made it. Got there.  Smugly, snugly winners.

And as you sit down the front door bell rings.

It’s the event organisers – Locog it says on their T shirts – who sweep in. “Relax“ they say “it’s great. Now leave it to us now.”

An army of identically clad young men and women stride in mouths smiling, eyes staring and repaint the door Cadbury purple, remove that screen in the cinema (what a crashing sound) and put in a Panasonic, The cars have been towed away and replaced by a BMW 7 series plus a Mini Cooper, the roses have been ripped out and replaced by Coca-Cola Reds, a Visa ATM has been set up beside the garage, your Longines watch has been snatched from your wrist and before your cry of outrage has subsided replaced by an Omega and as you retreat to your office you discover a team of smiling songsters smashing your Apple Mac and replacing it with an Acer.

Do you know, for the first time ever, I now know what living in a totalitarian state might feel like?

I’m a lifelong enthusiast for adventure but I’ve got uneasy.

I love the Olympics, their athletes and the buzz but the marketing stuff around it is beginning to feel a bit absurd.

Let’s just applaud the bravery of the brilliant competitors and ignore the rest.

Now, there’s a battle cry to make the moneymen think.

(Here are the Olympic Global sponsors:  Coca-Cola, Acer, Atos, Dow, GE, McDonalds, Omega, Panasonic, P&G, Visa, Samsung …well you knew that obviously. Here’s the London sponsorship list: BMW, BP, BA, BT, Lloyds, EDF).

And unless you got all those right someone’s wasted a lot of money.