THE OLD, OLD STORY

Back now from New Year celebrations for a big exercise in “I told you so’s.” The retailers tell us about their Christmas.

Next, after several smug years, was given a sharp kick by the consumer, John Lewis had a great time and M&S had another shocker. Mark Bolland said rather plaintively “but we did brilliantly in food”. And they did. But he resigned anyway.

M&S has always understood its food customer. They have in their mind reasonably wealthy retirees who indulge themselves a bit. And then there are people who either live alone or with a partner working incredibly hard so Simply M&S is a saviour. Get a decent, low calorie Chicken Jalfrezi, a bottle of Chateau Neuf and bed.

M&S has a brilliant team of food developers. Their quality and taste is miles ahead of Waitrose who had a rather mediocre Christmas. Alone amongst food retailers M&S seem untouched by Aldi and Lidl who tortured the big grocers by stealing their luxury food sales . A Goldman Sachs Analyst confessed to finding the Goose, Champagne, Smoked Salmon, Stilton and Panettone not only much cheaper there but also better.

So how can M&S get it so right and so wrong?

I have a confession to make. In the past I’ve found M&S men’s clothes good value and a quick, lazy way of looking reasonably smart. Then I discovered style with Charles Tyrwhitt and Boden. But after a while quality went sideways in both.

Now I buy my clothes from John Lewis - stylish, interesting and easy to shop. My last visit to M&S Marble Arch left me slightly nauseous with the insane range of stuff, all of it randomly displayed and none of it exciting.

In their 12,700 sq. ft. Food Store just outside Brighton, M&S parade the best and newest they have to offer. They share “yum” factor with Nigella.

I don’t believe anyone much under 50 shops there for clothes but M&S would be embarrassed to acknowledge this. Stuart Rose was right to research the M&S brand with the Women’s Institute. But what happened next?

It’s time to be realistic and focus on the older generation who are living longer and longer.

And even longer if Dame Sally Davies has her way.

We may (she says) only drink 1 ½ bottles of wine a week, with three days alcohol free, or we’ll die prematurely.

Shocking as it may seem I am raising my own consumption level to try and die before I get dementia.
Forgive me Mary for being so cross with you. We need to balance our approach to health. But as with M&S the key target is the elderly and avoiding them becoming a cohort of medically fit, free of the curses of alcohol and tobacco, yet away with the fairies.

I think we should encourage the elderly to smoke and drink a lot.

It might save the NHS.

And it would give the rest of us a lot to look forward to.

Cheers.