Monday 28 January 2013

LITTLE BY LITTLE BY LITTLE BY LITTLE



This started by seeing goggled eyed Ed Balls demanding a change of plan as part of  the conversations about a “catastrophic” 0.3% decline in national output in the last quarter of 2012 which he rather overdramatizes below.


Blimey! If you are earning the national average of £26,500 this equates to around £80 reduction. Now I don’t know about you but I doubt if that’s a catastrophe for most people although of course they’d prefer to have the money.

So (as one does) I got thinking about Dusty Springfield’s song of 1966 which in truth was a little depressing lyrically but I loved the tune and then Oasis in 2002 – both entitled “Little, by little, by little…” –  Oasis, a different song. And I started thinking about how we respond to and feel about trends.


You see I’ve become incredibly hacked off by constant talk about transformation and strategic breakthrough. As hacked off as hearing someone saying they’ve found an unbeatable way to make money – no risk – 15% guaranteed.

I don’t think growth can be plucked out of the air like that.

I don’t think transformations usually come off. Usually they turn out to be expensive mistakes.

I think it comes…little, by little, by little.

By fixing all the elements in the process.

By doing a lot of small things.

If we all improved our productivity by 0.3% - that catastrophic number - we’d have an extra 6 minutes free time in our day or, looked at differently, that 6 minutes multiplied across the adult population of the UK would amount to an extra 98 years of human resource.

Little, by little, by little becomes a lot … eventually.

AG Laffley who used to run P&G and tripled the share price whilst CEO has just written a book called “Playing to Win”.


In it he advocates refining what you are trying to do very clearly – you cannot talk to everyone, you can’t say much, it has to be something true to your delivery capability and it has to be worth paying attention to. If you’ve got that, place your chips on that and “play to win.”

It’s a story of little by little planning.

The most successful team in the Olympics (the UK cyclists) had a little idea that made a big impact.

Electronically heated hot pants.

Here’s what Victoria Pendleton said:-

 “They heat up almost instantaneously, you feel the temperature on your quads and hamstrings, and it really makes the difference.”


Go through everything you do and see what little things  to reduce, eliminate, increase and improve.

It’ll make a lot of little differences.

All of which add up.

www.colourfulthinkers.com

Monday 21 January 2013

GETTING THINGS RIGHT, GETTING THINGS WRONG AND HURRAH FOR ENGLISH


My recent piece in praise of real books got a ringing endorsement in the Sunday Times in a piece by Robert Collins entitled "The Book Bounces Back”. From a Viking Invasion sales increase, raping, pillaging and plundering real books in 2011 when e-books registered sales increases of 366% this fell back to 20% last year. Meanwhile sales of e-books fell in the USA and Barnes and Noble’s Nook is having a ropey time. And Facebook users in the UK fell by 600,000 last year. Is common sense prevailing?


It’s also good to get things wrong. The One-Stop Travel Shop previously conveniently based at Brighton Station has relocated to splendid new premises in the centre of the City over ½ mile from the station. I was livid and predicted a disaster.


I was wrong.

It’s full. Tourists love it. It’s been a brilliant way of putting integrated travel advice in the heart of the city.  Mind you the Sales Executive there whom I knew confided “it’s a bit weird…we haven’t got used to it yet”.

And now two from James Arnold Baker whose nephew sent him these. The first a wonderfully simple way to understand the fiscal cliff in America

Simply imagine the US Fiscal situation as a household budget

  • Annual family income in 2012: $21,700
  • Money the family spent in 2012: $38,200
  • New debt on the credit card: $16,500

But the outstanding balance on credit card: $142,710
Total budget cuts so far: $38.50.

This does not look good Mr Obama.


You need to cut your spending and increase your income. A lot. OK?

The second demonstrates why English is such a great language.


It’s about the “Burger Problem” and I’ve been hoarse with laughter as a result of these:-

  • Went to the fridge to check my burgers, and they're off! .....
  • Tesco PR people are having a mare
  • New kids’ food found in supermarket.....My Lidl Pony
  • Has this been going on furlong?
  • I always though Tesco burgers were good......well, good to soft in places
  • Sounds like these Tesco stories are being made-up on the hoof
  • Just got a batch of 200 Tesco burgers cheap, it only cost me a pony
  • Despite the scandal, Tesco say burger sales remain stable

www.colourfulthinkers.com

Monday 14 January 2013

IT AIN'T NECESSARILY SO



I was sent a really gloomy circular grumbling about our failure to make anything anymore – here it is…and there’s my version below.

By the way I also celebrate being European So I gladly buy European when I feel like it. As for made in Britain…there’s lots to choose from.

Joe didn’t get the job for other reasons…see below.











Oh woe – version one

Joe Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock
(MADE IN JAPAN) for 6a.m.
While his coffeepot
(MADE IN CHINA)
was perking, he shaved with his electric razor
(MADE IN HONG KONG)
He put on a shirt
(MADE IN SRI LANKA)
designer jeans
(MADE IN SINGAPORE)
and tennis shoes
(MADE IN KOREA)
After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet
(MADE IN INDIA)
he sat down with his calculator
(MADE IN MEXICO)
to see how much he could spend today
.
After setting his watch
(MADE IN TAIWAN)
to the radio
(MADE IN INDIA)
he got in his car
(MADE IN GERMANY)
filled it with petrol
(from SAUDI ARABIA)
and continued his search
for a good paying BRITISH JOB.

At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day checking his computer
(MADE IN MALAYSIA),
Joe decided to relax for a while.
He put on his sandals
(MADE IN BRAZIL)
poured himself a glass of wine
(MADE IN FRANCE)
and turned on his TV
(MADE IN INDONESIA),
and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in the UK.

Hip hip hurray! Version two


















Richard Hall started the day early having set his alarm clock
(MADE IN GERMANY ) for 6a.m.
While his coffeepot
(MADE IN ITALY)
was perking, he shaved with his razor
(MADE IN BRITAIN)
He put on a shirt
(MADE IN BRITAIN)
designer jeans
(MADE IN BRITAIN)
and casual shoes
(MADE IN BRITAIN)
After cooking his breakfast…wait a minute “cooked breakfast”?
Don’t be silly…after eating his toast from bread
(BAKED IN BRITAIN)
he sat down with his calculator…but then realised it was better to do the simple sum in his head while reading the paper
(PRINTED IN BRITAIN)
to see how little he could spend today.

After setting his watch
(MADE IN SWITZERLAND)
to the radio
(RESTORED FROM A 1954 BUSH MADE AND OVERHAULED IN BRITAIN)
he got in his car
(MADE IN BRITAIN)
Charged it with electricity
(GENERATED IN BRITAIN)
And drove to the local shop to pick up some Welsh lamb, Scotch and Bramley Apples from Kent.
(MADE IN…YES I KNOW…)
Later on he promised to pour a glass of wine for himself
(MADE IN BRITAIN)
(but unlike poor old Joe, he didn’t start drinking so soon after breakfast)

When he got home he decide to relax by reading “Bring up the Bodies” by Hilary Mantel (BORN IN BRITAIN)
….he opened the book
(PRINTED IN BRITAIN),
After which he sent Joe Smith a letter explaining that he hadn’t got the job because he was too bloody miserable (but in polite terms being British)













It’s up to you


Monday 7 January 2013

TWELVE PREDICTIONS FOR 2013 THAT ARE BOUND TO BE WRONG


Sam Goldwyn said “it’s hard to predict especially when it comes to the future” which he probably thought was witty but it’s true. Some seem contradictory but opposites co-exist.
Here are mine based on trends I see:

A small rebellion

1. Save is the rave – in this austerity age people will go to Aldi and chasing bargains will be a weekend sport. Brasserie Zedel, off Piccadilly Circus, offering excellent brasserie two courses for £8.95 will be restaurant of the year.



2. Getting out for very little – good news for Museums, National Trust and discount tickets but terrible news for Alton Towers, Wheels and Sea Life centres.

3. Stuffocation – new word coined by author James Wallman predicting a switch from gadgets to experiences which is why days-out will beat computer games in 2013.

4. Touchy, feely, smelly – what Selfridges do but most forget. The smell, touch, sights and the drama of a great shop allowing shopping for the fun of it. Premium retailers take note. Pile it low sell it sexily.



5. Fasting – the 5:2 movement is in all the papers now. Eat for 5 days then fast (500 calories) for two. It’ll strengthen our immunity systems, our irritability and our wallets. Here’s the Doctor who invented it. Slim isn’t he?



6. Slowing – the year of the slow cooker….9 hour stews with cheap cuts of meat that melt in your mouth using negligible energy …a house suffused with lovely cooking smells all day.

7. You can do it! – Sewing, cooking, knitting, mending, painting, digging and grouting. (Man in white van eat your heart out.) We’re all Jamie Olivers and Laurence Llewelyn-Bowens now.



8. Keep it in the family – I talked to a private equity investor who said “we love family businesses. They have values and pride in reputation and have tons of unexploited profit potential.” In tough times work with those you trust.

9. Challengers try harder – Malcolm Gladwell at whose feet we all worship has a new book coming out – “David and Goliath”. Romancing the underdog provides a great story. Now we are all underdogs we can pick up our sling and have a pot. Terrible time to be the Goliath Coffee Bar. Here’s how Avis did it.


10. Grey-day hey-day– older people are working out how to enjoy life. Some are working way past retirement age and dressing young - Strawberry fields forever. It’s a big untapped market but young marketers hate the wrinklies.

11. Luxury smuxury – impervious to recession, they say. No signs but watch for a magnifying glass being applied to poor quality under luxury labels and watch the wrath of the well-heeled explode this year. Luxury is not a zeitgeist word anymore.

12. No you can’t – the public sector and political correctness are in for a shocking assault because their attitudes are too expensive to sustain. What a fascinating time to be a Civil Servant.