WHAT A STRANGE WORD 'GOOD' IS

Ask a young person how they are and chances are they’ll say ‘good’ which means ‘fine’ or ‘OK’. It doesn’t mean terrific. Generally good means something more rounded than ‘winning’ or the overused ‘brilliant’.  Years ago I was talking to the CEO of Unipart, John Egan, about the success of his company and the generally poor state of British Industry. ’Why was this?’ I asked. John’s reply was instructive.

“Too few people know what good is” he said and that has got me thinking ever since. To be good at anything the performance has to be seen in the context of other good things; you have to be measured against global competitors. That’s why the Olympics and World Cup are so important. It’s no longer sufficient to be good enough just for Bolton or Brighton.

At this point I’d like to introduce you to Simon Anholt who’s worked, he says, with numerous Heads of State and Heads of Government, helping their countries to engage more productively and imaginatively with the international community. It’s what he says about good that I like. Using a huge database he researches globally what becomes a kind of ethical-performance league table called “The Good Country Index.” His thesis is the more you’re respected the better you’ll do. The more you give the more you get. Good may be measured by the extent to which people say “the world would be a worse place without X”…. or “X makes our world a better place” or “X is a role model to the rest of us.”

In 2014 Ireland came first on the back of economic revival when mere survival had seemed unlikely and en route, unlike Iceland who unilaterally wrote off their debt, paid theirs off.

Last year the top countries were:

• Netherlands
• Switzerland
• Denmark
• Finland
• Germany
• Sweden
• Ireland
• UK

USA came 25th and is daily getting worse I imagine given its current attitude to collaboration and selflessness.  Here’s Simon’s analysis of what’s wrong with the world.

“Things seem to be getting worse all the time: climate change, terrorism, pandemics, migration, economic chaos… the list goes on. All these problems have grown too big and too complex for any individual nation to solve. But instead of collaborating, nations spend all their energy and resources competing against each other. This has to change if we want to make the world work. This is why the Good Country Index exists.”

It’s curious that everything he sensibly prescribes like union, sharing and looking outwards for inspiration are what all good companies are doing nowadays and what nearly all nation states eschew.

America in particular is a strange case right now. What was once the leader of the world and role model to anyone with ambition is now behaving like a rogue state. American films featuring Gregory Peck and John Wayne – both good guys – have changed to Tarantino horrors instead. Pity. We need a good America.

I'M WALKING ON SUNSHINE

The recent report on the national mood by Deloitte shows we are more confident and happy than we’ve been since 2011.

Rather surprising this given the gloomy news commentaries. The improvement is put down to the Royal Wedding, the World Cup where we did less badly than expected (and with some style) and, of course, the weather - 58 days without rain in the south east.

Meanwhile one rather sparsely reported event has stood out for me. Peace has broken out between Ethiopia and Eritrea after 20 years of war and on-off border conflict. This was a real cause for celebration.

It also occurs to me that people are clearer about what really matters and are becoming immune to complex and legalistic arguments. I watched a typically ill-tempered Question Time on BBC1 last week partly to watch Barry Gardiner, Shadow Secretary of State for Internal Trade because I’d read he had the voice of the late serial murder, Dr Harold Shipman.  Barry has the charisma of a GP for sure and one who’s about to smile and give you very bad news.

As the panellists beat each other up in shrill discord I was struck by Claire Perry, Minister of State at the Department for Business, Energy and Industrial Strategy.

She said two things that stood out:-

Unravelling a relationship that had taken 44 years to put together was tricky and would take time

Of course they were working on a plan B “no deal” worst case scenario

Fellow panellist Gina Miller, the remain activist, was aghast with her honesty. I meanwhile enjoyed her teasing Piers Morgan and her sheer bubbly enthusiasm. She was smart and a lot of fun. She has been characterised as “colourful” (that’s as dangerous as being described as  “courageous” - code for “reckless”.) Hence a political commentator describing her thus:

“Claire could be brilliant, but there’s a danger she could self-destruct at any point,”

She made me laugh and listen. I predict Claire will go far but break a few glasses and hearts on the way. I learnt more about Brexit from her than anyone else so far. Her attitude mattered most. It’ll sort of be OK whichever way things roll provided we keep our sense of humour.

Enter Mr Grumpy - Donald Trump. Yes he’s ghastly, rude but playacting and increasingly he asks the question no one else dares to ask. He’s beginning to make me laugh. He’ll make a great TV personality (again) when he ceases to be President which I’m afraid he increasingly enjoys. He knows he can actually say anything he wants and deny it despite it being on tape (“fake tape”).

I think we’re becoming immune to him and Brexit. Like Boris they’re infuriatingly tiresome. Claire at least shows life can be funny too.

This has been some summer as we discover walking on sunshine beats shouting and makes various conflicts seem irrelevant. Life goes on: humanity is recovering  - and don’t it feel good?

TIME TO GET ANGRY

Angry? That doesn’t begin to describe how most of us are feeling. We are not close to doing a deal with the EU - will probably fail to do so -  and we’re strategically at odds with each other as to what we even want Britain to be like. To help us we have a vile cocktail of brexiteers, remainers, alt-righters, Marxists, Liberals, pundits, EU bureaucrats, Merkel, Macron, the rest of the 27 - several of whom are imploding politically.

It’s like being on US Airways 1549 - no engines, too low, New York City below, and a crash landing in the Hudson our best option. But no one is flying the plane let alone our having a Sully on the flight deck.

We have to start by asking what we are, where we are, what we’re striving for, how we can achieve it, how long that will take and what legacy we want to leave. Let’s ignore (as a given) that this is a mess, a debacle and a cock-up. Like it or not the referendum gave us this hand of cards (like Northern Ireland being out of the World Cup through a mistaken penalty - everyone agrees it was an error - but they are out of the World Cup and we are out of the EU.)

Forget Lord Kerr, author of Article 50, who’s popped up 18 months after the referendum saying “it’s not irrevocable” making the remain-ideologues believe Kerr, prayer and procrastination may save us. They won’t; so move on.

How do we as an independent entity make our lives happy, lucrative and fun? Let’s focus on the long list of what we are great at: from innovation (world number 1 in patents) to the arts to finance to technology to tourism to lots more. Currently business is waiting for the politicians. It needs to be more pro-active. I am not advocating addlebrained Boris euphoria - “jolly good country Britain yeeha!” We need a dose of rational self-belief and a plan to make the most of where we excel.

In a world as messy and conflicted as this, working within the straitjackets of existing party “alliances”, behaving as though everything’s normal, is ridiculous. We need a new party, like they have in France, where the rules are re-written. The talent that will solve our problem does not sit on either front bench right now but sits everywhere. Imagine Ruth Davidson, Hillary Benn, David Miliband, Yvette Cooper, Jesse Norman, Tom Tugendhat and a few others working together and you get the idea of what good government might look like. Not like this…

Have I turned into a brexiteer? No but almost anything’s better than being a wait-and-see-er. We can’t go on like this; we can’t allow ourselves to drift into disaster; our political parties are past their sell-by date and our respect and confidence. Our grandchildren born and unborn deserve better.

Don’t just be angry; do something. E-mail your MP constantly. Write to no.10; be a nuisance.

WHAT IT'S LIKE BEING GERMAN

I heard it said that, in Germany, comedy was no laughing matter. Whoever said that hadn’t met Juergen Voss who’s German and CFO at the Tetra Pak European and EMEA division. He’s German and he’s a finance guy and he’s very, very funny, one of the best stand-up presenters. He can make a spreadsheet seem incredibly humorous (which is, in itself, a great art.) Following the triumph of the German football team in Rio I asked him what the mood in Germany was like.

 “Leaving the obvious celebrations aside (like the return to Berlin today) the overall atmosphere here is actually very pleasant. People are walking around with a satisfactory smile rather than pounding their chests. More at peace with themselves instead ‘we showed them’. Interesting in a people that struggles in displaying some national pride. I guess humbleness is a good to describe it without reading too much into it, but I guess the atmosphere here is very much in line with how the team acted in Brazil.”

I was in Germany just after the Falklands War had started, in Nuremberg at the Deutscher Hof Hotel (said to be Hitler’s favourite).  As I went up in the lift the grim-faced porter turned, smiled at me and said with considerable satisfaction “Warmonger.” Follow that. Well I guess the Germans did in finding the “Don’t Mention the War” episode of Fawlty Towers very funny.

I sense we underestimate the Germans as human beings and are stuck with our stereotype of them. Recently on the London Underground a kid offered me her seat (do I look that old?) She was with a group of friends and they told me this was their first time in London and they were having a ball. They were full of fun, intelligence and laughter. Where are you from I asked as their fluent English was pretty well devoid of a giveaway accent. “Germany” they said.

I’ve decided I like the Germans a lot. They do great graffiti. They can manage an economy. They can do the most difficult thing brilliantly which is merging two cultures in East and West Germany. They have the liveliest creative culture ion the world in Berlin. They put a smart woman in charge. They make great cars, great beer and run the best SME sector imaginable.

Their Mittelstand (mid-sized) companies are highly focused with a ruthless focus doing one or two things really well. They believe in a great coaching/apprentice system and create through it a highly-skilled workforce. And they don’t waste their time buying and selling their companies - they stick with them keeping them in the family through generations.

Years ago I ran an advertising agency that had Storck as a client (they’re the Werther’s Original producers). At a board meeting the CEO one Otto Pancke decided there was insufficient energy or creativity so he roared:

“Everyone take all your clothes off now. Let’s see if nakedness makes a difference.”

Don’t tell me the Germans don’t have a sense of humour.

"I'M NOT TOO BAD ..... CONSIDERING"

This miserable response to the question “hi, how are you?” invites an invitation to ask to know more… and more is what you usually get. A torrent of misery about health, injustice and ill fortune. The only responses to the hi-how-are-you question that are worse are “fine” which = fucked-up, insecure, neurotic and emotional. Or “could be worse - musn’t grumble”… but you are going to mate, aren’t you, aren’t you? … any second from now.

(The lion on the left has just asked that “hi how are you” question by the way.)

When life in Britain gets sunnier every day, when the weather is heading towards a possible heat wave, when wherever I walk I see vibrant street theatre, investment, new art and enterprise why do I detect the whiff of “fings aint wot they used to be” UKIPism? Well actually I don’t see it amongst the young so much as the middle aged and elderly bewailing the dismantlement of Old Britain. Overall the young seem pretty fine to me. For the first time in years I even like and appreciate some of their music and some of the recent advertising…Look at the current World Cup McDonald’s ad which is pure generous genius

http://www.mobiledia.com/

And last week when Rik Mayall died and we all rushed to You Tube to watch the astonishing tour de force of his Lord Flashheart in Blackadder we appreciate the joy of “tour de force” rather than grumble and mutter. And what a tour de force this was. Deliciously we learn he didn’t do it quite like that in rehearsal so this is also a piece of glorious upstaging.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKfbSHW9uGA

The tired old cliché is that life isn’t a rehearsal either. Why Mayall and his various characters struck a chord is they weren’t careful, they weren’t sensible, they were just full of ranting life. Alan B’Stard was not admirable in any way bar one. He too was enormously full of life. Just like that old boy with his unforgotten football skills in the McDonald’s ad. Because this isn’t about age it’s about attitude.

Wake up, feel glad to be doing whatever you’ve got to do that day, do it with vitality, energy and laughter. The world really is a better place than it was and more than 50% of what happens is great (which means, if my arithmetic is right, that we’re winning). So what do we do about those whingers and grumblers - the “not too bad considerings”?

Do a Rick Mayall and say loudly “not too bad? … Bollocks….you are so, so lucky…the sun’s shining and life is great” and then laugh. They’ll think you’ve gone mad but you’ll have achieved an important thing. You’ll have communicated that how you feel depends on how you see things. There’s a phrase I hear more of now than the dreaded “whatever!”.

 “What’s not to like?”

Apart from that football result….but look on the bright side….we might be Spanish.