HUMOUR - HOW AND WHETHER IT WORKS

These are the best of times and the worst of times for comedians.

We have more jokes than ever and a medium so efficient at disseminating them that a professional stand-up deserves his millions by preserving anything vaguely original to say.

“I say, I say, I say…have you heard what Francesco Schettino’s new job is?”

“Yes. He’s a bus driver. Next?”

Isn’t this getting a bit tired now? Isn’t it bizarre that the capsizing of the Costa Concordia, a ship two and a half times the tonnage of the Titanic, has so quickly become yesterday’s news until that is someone manages to link the recent fashion shows with cruising and Italy?

And if these weren’t that strident orange it wouldn’t be so funny because here are the hot fashion colours for 2012. Yes – Tangerine Tango up in front.

And, just to prove the timelessness of ethnic humour, here are two that could have been produced at any time in history. The first to make the Brits feel good about their cunning and because it’s a classic piece of silent slapstick.

The slapper on a train

Coming back from another recent EC summit in Rome, various European leaders were forced to take the train due to a strike by Swiss ATC controllers; sitting together in the same compartment, travelling through the Swiss Alps , were Sarkozy, Cameron, Merkel and the young and a very attractive female Irish foreign minister.



The train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later there is the sound of a loud slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, Sarkozy has a bright red, hand print on his cheek. No one speaks, everyone is extremely shocked and embarrassed.

 Angela Merkel thinks: Sarkozy, not able to help himself, must have groped the Irish girl in the dark, and she slapped his cheek.


The Irish girl thinks: Sarkozy, not able to help himself, must have tried to grope me in the dark, but missed and fondled Merkel and she slapped his cheek.


Sarkozy thinks: Why me? That perfidious Cameron must have groped the Irish girl in the dark knowing that I'd get the blame for it and she slapped me... the English bastard.


And Cameron thinks: I can't wait for another tunnel, so I can smack that little French shit again.


And the next because Jack manages to incorporate everything I’ve always felt about South Africans – friendly, hail fellow well met, look like dentists (maybe that’s just me) and are totally distrait. And in case you’re worrying – no, it’s not (necessarily) racist. It’s funny.

The hijack and hygiene jokes are as old as the hills but like banana skins are always wonderfully slippery.

As with innovation and as Ed McCabe, the legendary ad man put it, “there’s nothing new under the sun but there’s always a better way.”

A PERSPECTIVE FROM HOLLYWOOD AND BOLLYWOOD ON 2010

We’ll shortly be bombarded in the media by the “anguishings” of economists and gurus about 2010. So I thought I’d start by going instead to the world of film, with which I grew better acquainted over Christmas, for some pointers.

“This is my show” (Anil Kapoor as Prem Kapur the gameshow host from Slumdog Millionaire.)

As he felt his own control oozing away, Prem got more and more frustrated. Yet we’d all better stop trying to run things and start trying to steer them. However much we huff and puff the age of the Fat Controller is over. Events of 2010 proved just how out of control the bullies are.

“Doubt is not a luxury we can afford any more” (Elastigirl from the Incredibles.)

It was Lord Denning who said “people pay us for our certainties not our doubts” and Shakespeare more tersely “our doubts are traitors”. Whilst we have never lived in more complex times with information overload and unprecedented events happening at random we need to have a sense of clarity and an unfailing determination to be decisive if we are to survive. Better to be wrong than die in a sea of vaccilation.

“Your book is going to change the world.” Stanley Tucci (as Paul Child) from Julie and Julia.

As a writer I always believe this secretly although I doubt if it’s true. Yet the optimist that visualises the best result is the one more determined to go for it. Who’d ever start a film like Titanic, Avatar or Lord of the Rings without such an indomitable belief? There’s never been a better time to go for it.

 “Impossible. Impossible. Nothing is impossible. Dig little mouse. Dig.” Matthew Broderick (as Philippe Gaston) from Ladyhawke.

This irrepressible positivism allied to nothing any longer being inviolate, from the corporate reputations of BP and Toyota to the hero to zero slide of various politicians in 2010 (in Nick Clegg’s case from zero to hero to Nero), underpins the new world order. Since nothing is impossible just do it. And remember Rutger Hauer (star of Ladyhawke) in those bizarre Guinness commercials. He said “just keep an open mind”.

Time I’d suggest to watch more films and read fewer Harvard Business Reviews. When truth is stranger than fiction it’s time to go to fiction for inspiration.

This is the first of a series of blogs to mark the New Year – enjoy them.