SO WHAT DO YOU DO?

In this era of the basic psychology you find in self-improvement books, all of them full of good but somewhat simplistic ideas, the importance given to first impressions has never been greater. First impressions are the real stuff of today. It’s all about Twitter, Instagram,  fast-food and instant, simple gratification.

This week I was at the Hampton Court Flower Festival. It was a humid, dreamy, stroll-around sort of day.  As I waited for coffee this guy next to me and I started to talk. After a few minutes he said:
“Do you mind if I ask you a question?”

My heart sank…was he going to ask for money, my phone number or personal advice?

“Are you performing here today?”

Puzzled I asked him what form of performance he thought I might be about to do. He thought.

“Either a lecture on gardening or perhaps a more general talk on life or a magic show or (by now in desperation) perhaps in a band…playing the trombone”

So that was the impression I gave because I dressed like a performer…but did I? … I was just wearing a linen jacket and black jeans. No I don’t get it either. I’ve also been often mistaken as a vicar (once as a bishop), as an MP and as a TV celebrity by a local shopkeeper (“Oh go on tell me - you conduct an orchestra or you interview people - oh this is so frustrating…”)

But this is not about me it’s about the desperate needs we all have to pigeon-hole people and to ascribe to them a talent or role so we can as it were file them in the cabinet of our minds.

The exact and frustrating opposite happened to me recently when I was approached by someone as I walked towards a restaurant.

“Richard Hall, hullo, well crikey, how are you?”

Seeing the expression of who-the-hell-is-this on my face he told me his name. Now here’s the creepy bit. That didn’t help either. The memory box in which it resided was fused shut or alternatively he was unknown to me and confused me with another Richard Hall - there are an awful lot of us in Linkedin.
So in that instance there were no impressions let alone first impressions. In general however we are increasingly seeking quick answers. In business “ball-park” is an expression we often hear when the questioner is asking for a fast-guess and will get angrily resentful to an “I haven’t a clue” answer.

We need to absorb data intelligently rather than just quickly and develop the skill of acting very thoughtfully. Thoughtfulness and wisdom are the qualities most missed in today’s fast moving world.
I now regret I failed to entertain my fast, first-impression acquaintance at Hampton Court by singing that annoying advertising jingle:

“Go Compare, Go Compare, When in doubt check them out Go Compare”….

Instead I wished him an inspiring day and walked off. Just how lacklustre was that?