IT AIN'T NECESSARILY SO

I was sent a really gloomy circular grumbling about our failure to make anything anymore – here it is…and there’s my version below.

By the way I also celebrate being European So I gladly buy European when I feel like it. As for made in Britain…there’s lots to choose from.

Joe didn’t get the job for other reasons…see below.

Oh woe – version one

Joe Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock
(MADE IN JAPAN) for 6a.m.
While his coffeepot
(MADE IN CHINA)
was perking, he shaved with his electric razor
(MADE IN HONG KONG)
He put on a shirt
(MADE IN SRI LANKA)
designer jeans
(MADE IN SINGAPORE)
and tennis shoes
(MADE IN KOREA)
After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet
(MADE IN INDIA)
he sat down with his calculator
(MADE IN MEXICO)
to see how much he could spend today
.
After setting his watch
(MADE IN TAIWAN)
to the radio
(MADE IN INDIA)
he got in his car
(MADE IN GERMANY)
filled it with petrol
(from SAUDI ARABIA)
and continued his search
for a good paying BRITISH JOB.

At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day checking his computer
(MADE IN MALAYSIA),
Joe decided to relax for a while.
He put on his sandals
(MADE IN BRAZIL)
poured himself a glass of wine
(MADE IN FRANCE)
and turned on his TV
(MADE IN INDONESIA),
and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in the UK.

Hip hip hurray! Version two

Richard Hall started the day early having set his alarm clock
(MADE IN GERMANY ) for 6a.m.
While his coffeepot
(MADE IN ITALY)
was perking, he shaved with his razor
(MADE IN BRITAIN)
He put on a shirt
(MADE IN BRITAIN)
designer jeans
(MADE IN BRITAIN)
and casual shoes
(MADE IN BRITAIN)
After cooking his breakfast…wait a minute “cooked breakfast”?
Don’t be silly…after eating his toast from bread
(BAKED IN BRITAIN)
he sat down with his calculator…but then realised it was better to do the simple sum in his head while reading the paper
(PRINTED IN BRITAIN)
to see how little he could spend today.

After setting his watch
(MADE IN SWITZERLAND)
to the radio
(RESTORED FROM A 1954 BUSH MADE AND OVERHAULED IN BRITAIN)
he got in his car
(MADE IN BRITAIN)
Charged it with electricity
(GENERATED IN BRITAIN)
And drove to the local shop to pick up some Welsh lamb, Scotch and Bramley Apples from Kent.
(MADE IN…YES I KNOW…)
Later on he promised to pour a glass of wine for himself
(MADE IN BRITAIN)
(but unlike poor old Joe, he didn’t start drinking so soon after breakfast)

When he got home he decide to relax by reading “Bring up the Bodies” by Hilary Mantel (BORN IN BRITAIN)
….he opened the book
(PRINTED IN BRITAIN),
After which he sent Joe Smith a letter explaining that he hadn’t got the job because he was too bloody miserable (but in polite terms being British)

It’s up to you