Whilst I really couldn’t give a toss about anything right now much less this blog which no one reads and if they do, well they probably wonder why, I thought it might be interesting to self-analyse self-pity. Because I’m not very ill at all; I’m probably just 20% off being at my best. My IQ has not, as it feels, plummeted. I just don’t feel up to tackling those really tricky problems we all have.
I want to wallow.
And as I write this I realise that old fashioned word we very seldom hear nowadays “mouldy” describes how I am right now. Like a piece of old cheddar going a bit blue around the edges.
So it was with surprising attentiveness that I read this which a friend sent me:
HEALTH ISSUES YOU SHOULD ADDRESS PROMPTLY
Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
If you answered yes to any of these questions ask your doctor or pharmacist about…
✙ Cabernet Sauvignon.
✙ Cabernet Sauvignon is the safe natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions.It can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.
You will notice the benefits of ✙ Cabernet Sauvignon almost immediately and, with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.
Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.
Stop hiding and start living.
Contra-Indications…
✙ Cabernet Sauvignon may not be right for everyone.Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use it.
However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.
Side effects may include:
Dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of ‘Strip Poker’, ‘Truth or Dare’ or ‘Naked Twister’
Warnings:
The consumption of ✙ Cabernet Sauvignon:may make you think you are whispering when you are not
may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them
may cause you to think you can sing
may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people
A few glasses later I’m feeling quite a lot stronger. I’m now able to cope with the e-mails and one or two other issues. The sun has come out and I realise now that the cheese wasn’t mouldy it was Stilton.
Posts
1 comment:
Ha ha - a great remedy, although excess can result in something as unpleasant as Man-flu and possibly more debilitating - Wine-flu
Post a Comment